READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
