She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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