If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
