Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
