It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ugly people sure do ruin things
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
