we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
