the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
