You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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