i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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