We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
