Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
