Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
