let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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