dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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