are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
