A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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