At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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