Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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