I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
