I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
