My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
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I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.