So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it