This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad