You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
