just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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