Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
