and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
