so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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