Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
