Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
