why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
