never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
