Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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