Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
