I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
