So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
