i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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