I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
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