If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He better not be in your backpack
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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