Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
