do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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