I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
