she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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