I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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