When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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