that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
