before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
