He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize