Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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