That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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