Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
