You really coming over, don't trick.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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