no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I am spending my child support on dildos
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
