Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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