Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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