plz talk dirty to me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
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i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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