On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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