she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done