Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
