I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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