Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
