Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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