are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
