is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
