pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
