3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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